2007

Great night mysteries of toppling tales

come washing down the shore

there's nothing here to hide before

the vanishing sails fade nomore

Of late it appears

that the stars are near

while the sun takes a while

to smile at my fears

The waves crash along

when a strong wind blows

the shallow coast calls

for a song, dance and shows

The exotic dancers dance

to the drumbeats of a mad man

when the poets crash in alcohol

and the simple ones just take their chance

The howling night slows

and the morning rips a glow

the shadows turn longer

while the music comes and goes

There is food for the hungry

and beer for the parched

for now every soul is free

while the simple ones watch

The year is ending soon

the moon is growing old

the gold is spent in style

but the simple ones are bored

Through eyes that see everything

the old man sings that song

which talks about yesterdays

when life seemed a bit too long

The new-year party will never end

that new friend might just show up again

a trough of bliss and a crest of pain

- life is certainly not a game for the sane!

An Accidental Thought

Contd. from...

Lucy finished the devils cake.

The time had come to finally make a change.
How many possibilities can you really think about?
How many ways are there really?

“Ways to what? “

“Oh yeah...of course..out of this place.”

“What place?”

“THIS...all this...you know...”

“No I don’t.”

Tom was sitting on a chair made of wood and leather.
Lucy was lying on a couch made of some imaginary material.

Of course, Tom had no idea about this.

How could he?

After all, is there any way one person can translate his or her experience to another? The human biogrammer is quite inadequate to communicate such uniquely personal interpretations of reality; such as EXPERIENCE for example. In a way, every one is insane, because in spite of what one may pretend to be, one is always in the grasp of an endless spiral of crazy thoughts and abysmally scary feelings.

This intensity is curbed merely by the random collection of daily chores that somehow convince us that the mundane time between sunrise and sunset is one day of our life that we must use to do what we have to do in order to accomplish what we have to accomplish.

Accomplish WHAT?

What if the fate of humanity is not extinction, but a form of pervasive madness, unleashed from the illusory bonds of "rational" thinking?

What if there is a certain mutation that is rapidly spreading into the intellectual faculties of the human mind, ripping it apart from the 15 year program of growing up, and tossing it into the eddies of chaos? Is that why the young are rebellious?

What if insanity is our end and mortality is but a stale hypothesis?
After all, death is a concept that bothers our hyperactive brains more than it does in the case of the so-called lower primates.

Of course, there is a positive way to look at this.

Madness is again a relative label.
It is just as pertinent today as it was when some crazy one told the world that the earth ain’t flat.

Or is it?

Lucy snapped out of the hypnosis.

"I’ll see you next week", said Tom.

He felt as if he was getting nowhere with this patient. What was going on in her head? Why couldn’t she find a balance? She seemed remarkably normal, and yet….

Anyway, he had to leave early tonight. The rental car had to be returned and he still had to get some grocery.

He felt a little guilty for thinking about other things right now.

Lucy, could sense that this Para psychotherapy crap was not going to explain her cognitive turbulence. Ha..."cognitive turbulence"; what a pretentious choice of words!

She walked outside the office and got into her car. She turned on the Little Brothel CD, and plunged into the busy street.

Lately, she had given up trying to control her wandering thoughts. Every motor activity seemed to feel like a subconscious activity of muscle memory. She could think and be wherever she pleased.

She took a delicious pleasure in imagining that she would run into another vehicle, and that would end this confusing existence once and for all.

Little Brothel was playing "sadness for life".

Overall, the song was good, but the lyrics were hard to figure out.

What the hell did they mean by "take alcohol with your guns, and smoke cigarettes when you run"?

The loud screech that followed could be heard in the tavern around two blocks away. People rushed out on the street to watch the violent source of the ugly clamor.

Lucy’s car had run the red and was subsequently t-boned by a speeding Audi. She was lying upside down in the middle of the street, unable to move or feel any pain. From where she was, she could see a pool of blood start forming on the tar. Beyond it, was the car that had crashed into her.



From an upside down point of view, Lucy stared into the eyes of the rapidly dying driver. His car was crushed under a truck that was following him. It was obvious that the weight and the impact had totally crushed the poor fellow’s body.

It took a while for particular neurons to register this distorted view in Lucy’s mind and overlap it with her aberrantly archived memories.

She was still feeling no pain, but something unpleasant flashed through her body as she realized that the dead driver in the other car was Dr Tom Blanchet.

At this point, some other neurons in her brain calculated the time between now and then – about 15 minutes ago – when she was lying hypnotized on an imaginary couch in Tom’s office....

Well...there goes the parapsychology crap!

Remember me?

Remember how childhood used to be?

the thoughts you had,

the visions you could see?

What happened to those memories?

why didn't you let them be?

and what about those stories,

you promised you would one day read?

What is to be a man now?

aren't you still that child somehow?

and what about that life,

you promised yourself you'd live?

Stare into a mirror

look inside your eye

who's that guy you see?

is it you or is it me?

The Devil-fly's song

left alone for a while
she cried out into the dessert
the air was a tortured smile
and such life had gone obscure

pausing for a moments thought
she gathered at the rising snow
alone in the winter night
she bought the sight for a shattered doe

the summer was a dry spell
oh what the hell would you bastards know
the blood has spilled all over here
and Joan of arc can kiss this show

those flowers in that empty bowl
were hard to watch and smelled of coal

catching dead-fish in a crystal ball
she forgot about her dying rose

somehow somewhere something would sing
and the notes would bring the fallen dead
carrying a soul in your head ain’t easy
but carry a head for your soul and you're blessed

in the rain was yet another pain
grieving sex-driven hunger and onanism in vain
the younger crowd grew proud again
"let the hag die, lets all go insane"

the seasons came to a rapid end
and a rotten friend stopped by in shame
while she was delivered back
to where from she came
and there was nothing more for him to pretend!

she rose again on a different rock
- a planet away from now and then
while here in this crazy world
I wrote poems with her blunted pen!

Conflicts with the past

Baba black sheep
have you any wool
shut up, don’t make a peep
stop begging and stay cool.

the fool from my childhood
came crashing on my door
before I understood
he started bashing me on the floor

"wake up" he screamed,
I hear you've dreamed,
of unheard of things...."
"Tell me more", he sings!

I begin my story
from the time I was three
he says that’s bull shit
you cant have that kinda memory

Hmmm..........
so much for unheard of things!
if you don’t believe then why bother me?
Why then don’t you just sleep
and learn from the sheep
to blindly fit in a herd
and never plunge into the deep?

He walked away without a word
The next day he had joined
the herd of beggars in suits and cars
chasing papers and shiny coins
staring through bars like a caged bird

One for my master

and one for my dame

but a little bit faster

before we end this game...

messages from within

Comes crying in the sounds
of mystic mysteries
the thoughts of being free
away for eternity

while the world moves again
these tired eyes watch
the fleeting rate of change
unaware of ephemeral pain

Wandering out again
reaching for the magic
the tragic parts insane
its just a precious trick

play along for a while
that smile is looking good
should work for a while
like that magic smile should

and the tears are sweet
this world is gorgeous too
it doesn’t matter with
and certainly not without you

Where are you...if where am I?

Contd. from...

"Believe me, I have been here before!"

Things were not going great. There was work, there was school, and there was Syd and now THIS! When is it all going to stop?

Lucy was going through a crises moment here. Things about mundane life seemed too boring to be worth spending so much amount of energy on. Lucy wondered if she could play music all day...or paint pictures and write songs...or just take a walk in the woods to refamiliarize herself with who she is.

"Who am I?", she asked herself...

Her thoughts went on, as Lucy got lost in herself.

"It’s been 23 years since I was born. Every molecule in the human body is said to have recycled every seven years. Given that the omnipresent flux of the universe is also taking place within my body, the material aspect of me has undergone three cycles already. I have grown. I have matured. I look different now and yet strangely the same as my chilhood pictures. My memories are like distant stars. Everything I do is somehow recorded in my brain, irrespective of whether I can recollect it or not. Is it possible that we have an exponentially growing unlimited memory?"

A breeze woke her up.

"Where was I?” she wondered.

The disorientation was familiar. She had drifted into such a mental state many times before. Syd never understood it. He thought she was making a big deal out of something that everyone experiences occasionally. But then what if he - and everyone else - just thought that it was no big deal? What if somehow, she was on to something? A contact with the primordial consciousness perhaps?
She imagined a future in which mankind will have understood dreams and consciousness just like they now understand the immune system and vaccination.
It is but inevitable!

The breeze was now turning into a storm. The clouds looked dark and scary. The waves on the ocean sounded fierce, and there was soon some lightening and thunder. Lucy hurried out of the woods and raced towards the shore.

"The shore? WHERE AM I??????"

She was puzzled beyond her imagination. She could see in the distance the waves crashing against the rocks. Suddenly, the rock changed into a moving shape, dark and menacing. The water turned into an unnatural hue, and the violence of the sky was nightmarish.

Lucy was in her own nightmare....or atleast we think she was?

Ancient Memory

Distances and time
are only in your mind
the soul at the other end
is always waiting for a friend

Break away from this grip
of forceful symbols and chips
understand that you are one
with every thing under the sun

Stop fighting for your self
coz your self is who you're fighting
afterall the race is against you
and the winner is not really winning

Grow up beyond the fear
of losing what you have here
just go on with the magic
of that individual desire

Madness is but nothing
yet everyone is mad
its sad that you can be alive
but always scared of dying

recall that ancient memory
of the man who built the wheel
he is you and he was real
and thats the mystery!

Unscene

crimson primerose
in the wind
blinded fellow
sharp within
tired eyes
on a hollow mind
crimson primerose
and shallow blinds
the doors open
to a different scene
the shadow covers
a borrowed scream
light passes another time
the certainty is lost behind
ofcourse its not easy
to understand what this means
you can never be so unaware
untouched,
unscared,
unseen!

Leaf in the wind...

Come to think about it...

seems like a dream has gotten over

and another has begun,

before the catchers on the run

Trying hard to figure out

how it was with and with out,

these people and these places

these times and these faces...

What are prisons for?

afterall,

everyone is free

just seperated by walls

we live as you and me.

Come to think about it

I may have been wrong

about the things

that I thought were dreams....

and although its been so long

here I am,

with a brand new song...

In my mind I shed

like a leaf in the wind,

a little less blind,

- a new cocoon,

waiting for new things to spin...

Fly story

What does it mean when a fly buzzes around you?
does it see,
a giant creature in me?
Sitting around, going about, looking up, and staring down?
Flying around
my irked face
she merrily enjoys the views
for her I'm a grand canyon sorta place
and maybe she hears different kinda hues
Where do they go at night
out of sight meandering fools?
partying about in a desolate pool

of filth, which for them is cool
Like roman orgies
and greek symposia
they have their own,
so-sigh-teees
their socrates also asks why
are we here and who are we?
In around a bout way
they live through their day
being what they are supposed to be-
their very own version of reality,
they live through life
round you and me!

Keys

You throw away the key
hear you're going off to see
your child is on the shore
you walk the line alone
You stare at the sky
and you burn those bones
you fear everything
that sings you a song

lose any time
try any ship
fake any road
try any dream
trade every thought
u show every why
for all the times
and you try all the while

take off your hair
shed off your skin
your eyes are burning white
and you are smiling within

between the tries a lie
roaches light
flying without wings
and you're trying to sink

your voice is hoarse
and your parrots are caught
live on on any thing
everything is short
over and over something over
ride a little latter
over and over any over

strings are the thing of the past
watching over microscope the worlds of the last (past)
watching every time
roses SPLAT
splattered on the roads
their screams off the head

rise on the day
then everything is moving
rise on the day
heard that something is opposing

every time I see the TV
I just want to shove it off the window
tools are burning
the shores are sweet
trying to eat
the food you want to lay the meat

sparkle up the cigarettes
drinking all the wine
fairy tales and charms
are wondering alike

taking every breath
u watch you want today
what you want today’s
are off the way
tomorrows for you

Strings the thing of the past
lighting every moments
own version, goings of my heart
trying to be
a key

Shower themes

My foot has gone asleep
I weep for her to speak
to shake the stingy sleep
wake across my magic ship.

The winds they run blind
into cliffs that line my mind
come weary of the same ol grind
the timid stars and bubbling signs.

Wined and dined
the kilometers in time
salmon pieces on the plate
palate cured by the crime.

Touched by the clowns stride
cried the funny man outside
holding cheers from the crowds
the putrid dirty hide inside.

Sometimes you just don’t get it do you?
Sometimes you just wish that you knew...

Blind what may seem

blind what may seem to you
for me its somewhat quite new
true it may seem to be
different to you than it is to me

the wind speaks a dance
by chance the words spin
within there is a calm
while outside there is a scream

I talk like a chalk
screeching on a slate
late for a thing
or a point of view

singing songs about fate
for me its somewhat new
these eyes already knew
what lies beyond this state

the lights keep flickering
sparkling fire flies in streams
symbols giving speeches
preaching white satin dreams

prying around the sounds
of shattering misty treats
reading poems off the ground
sipping cups full of feats!

The Naked Truth

Standing outside
the clothes she had worn
She stood there watching
them shapeless and torn
lying around on the floor
threatening to open some door

But inside her
she still felt unclear
As if she was still clad
in a satin gown
made of her skin
and her hair
a mad hat
adorning her crown

So she took a pill
and lost her skin
she took a blade
and lost her hair
She felt her bones
and it was but fair
that even they should be gone

And so she was
standing all alone
without her bones
stripped off her skin
with not a thing within

She still felt a load
of perhaps her soul
or her amazing powers
to make life on board

And so she lost her mind
and her eyes and her self
but somehow she felt
that she didn’t go blind

She was
wasn’t she?

Things)(

Things were lying about
in a disturbing sort of way
she tried to lie back
but they wouldn’t go away

Sometimes she shut her eyes
and sometimes she closed her ears
but then she would hear those cries
of shrieking yesteryears

She tried to forget
the things that had happend
just a hollow pretext
for a shallow sort of person

But things were deep
things were very very deep.
it was almost hard to tell
wakefulness from sleep

It was a strange kind of hell
to feel these things...
it is almost hard to tell,
you delight
full of meanings

now compare this to that
and stop reading for a while
look away and stare
does it make you smile,
or do you even care?

Life is what has happened!
what will,
is already happening!
What will,
is already hap...........

To listen to these words RIGHT-click and open in new window

Changes()

coming from here

going there

the seconds pass by

and seem to go no where

green, white and brown

are the colors of this town

somewhere there's a blue

hidden above the view

prime numbers float here

they are quite real, I swear

the pattern(s) alter somewhere

the true picture remains unclear

A sound trembles in the heat

A moan embraces the beat

she waits to touch those dreams

of receding memories

somewhere something has happened

somewhere nothing has not

sometime its all stagnant

and then its a dancing knot

the light has gotten dim

the birds can no more sing

people are closing their eyes

to see the same sun…rise

the shadow has turned yellow

the mind has fallen mellow

a dawn is coming soon and

soon it will be noon

the pretty face is tired

coz another day has gone

when fireworks were fired

and another year was gone

several lives have gone extinct

this change has different meanings

the water has now flown over

a meager pocket full of things

Adventures beyond the dark

Contd. from...

It was a weird kind of darkness.
There were weird thoughts going through THE head.
Lucy did not know what was happening.
There was a serious lack of any logic, emotion or rationale.
There was no continuum, no infinity, no origin, or eternity.
The end was a clear and undisputable fact.
There was no language even.
There was something akin to mathematics-or perhaps music-but most of it felt like semiotic fractals.

Lucy was in the middle of childbirth.

No, she was not delivering.

She was BEING delivered.

Conscious awareness at the beginning of memory is rare. However, just because something is rare does not mean it is impossible. In fact, one does not even have to wonder whether something is possible. It is the surprise and the unpredictability of the universe that man is perennially amazed by.
The rest is merely our response to that wonder:
our long road of investigation, exploration and enlightenment .

But what about in Lucy?

She ACUTALLY had some kind of a conscious awareness about who she was AS she was BEING BORN.
This is indeed a very unlikely phenomenon if viewed in the light of predictability. However, it is hardly implausible when you consider the whole thing while floating your mind in the chaos of probability!

So yeah, it was happening to Lucy. She was entering the WORLD via a biological process called childbirth, and she seemed to be 100% aware of this entire process….
unlike the rest us…maybe!

A light appeared at the other end. She was pulled out by a pair of gloved hands.

Suddenly she could feel the presence of a complex environment.
She was like a frog out of a pond…
for the first time ever!

She opened her eyes, and gave out an involuntary squeal.
She looked into the light.
Light was a very different experience.
She wanted to say something, but she was not able to.
She seemed to be having difficulty getting past some kind of a (develop)mental block that was making her brain incompatible with the drastically different environment she had just stepped into.

Imagine installing a new chip in your computer.
Now imagine that, the chip is from some different planet.
So here you have a chip that fits in the mother board of your machine, and seems to be perfectly compatible. However, at the human interface, you have no idea about what is on the screen or what the computer is capable of computing.

One cannot do or make anything out of such a computer till one has figured out the grammar of the language that runs it.

So Lucy was a chip from a different planet’...just for the sake of analogy.

From an outsiders perspective (viz the author or the reader of this narrative) the birth of young Lucy seems like a very bizarre event. But Lucy, being the one experiencing this "hyper-reality" must surely be the most non-pulsed one amongst us all.

She looked about the room. They were all strangers. There seemed to be some kind of a strong force attracting her to the woman on the operating table, the woman she came out of.

Lucy closed her eyes for a while as the cord was cut.
She felt like an astronaut who was let loose into space.

Now you have to understand, Lucy had no knowledge, whatsoever, about astronauts or outer space. It is just an analogy to convey to you a feeling that neither you nor I have ever experienced, but are both capable of imagining it...except if you have been defenestrated into outer space, in which case you better call me soon!

And thus, Lucy was born into this world on 6th june 2006.
Just kidding, the date was 9th September 1999.

The next few years were a systematic set of rules that she was subjected to live by.
These rules were laid down upon her by her mother, her father, her grandparents and the friends she started to make when she began to crawl and explore the terrestrial dimension.

When Lucy learned to walk, she was euphoric.
When she learnt to talk, she was ecstatic.
When she began to think, she felt enlightened….

But then, she was enlightened since birth!!

She felt that finally her thoughts were making sense to herself.
Or at least she didn’t feel like a sage trapped in a broken cage.

"Life had thus commenced!"

Everything was fine for 20 years….
Then she met the other Lucy.
After that, everything had changed!

Mine

Its possible

that I can lose

almost everything you see.

But I cannot lose me

I can die many times

but I can't live like I'm dying.

I can cry many tears

but that can't stop

me from smiling.

I can feel many feelings

But they can't stop

me from thinking,

I can miss a few ocassions

but I cannot miss life...

I can own a few diamonds

but I cannot sell time

I can wait for eternity

to set my soul free

But I cannot wait for you

to see what I mean.

So I am taking one more step

I'm leaving you here,

I'm setting myself free...

I am approaching the darkness waiting to finally see.....

Pain

Now comes yesterday's

joy away from pain

some thing comes from nothing

that seldom happens again

Blood flows in streams

of thin branches in the sand

the dry earth cracks

open exposing promised lands

Time collapses down

and moments drift apart

its time to leave this crazy town

let these memories play their part

Too many things have changed

and too many things are same

a lot is yet to happen

but a lot has happened again

You were sitting here yesterday

as we laughed through the pain

now you're leaving everything today

I wish once we could laugh again

Lost in time

you've aged like wine

I can taste you still

you'll forever be mine

Know

What is it to know?

Where does it come from,
and where does it go?
What is that thought,
hidden behind
the pointless show,
some dream that we sought.
just an idea
of cross-eyed ponderers,
wondering why?
whispering out
loud silence
hovering about
waiting to know,

and dying to show!

Voices and opinions
sermons and communions
prayers and curses
gunshots and protests
commercials of plastic
does it seem a bit drastic
selling souls for real
so that YOU can feel?

Time and its shortage
power and its carnage
greed and enlightenment
locked in a primitive sage.
caravans pass by
and the clowns sometimes, cry
divine fear is here
is it worth a try

Decide for yourself
wait alone in the rain
again, the sun shall shine
until then, enjoy the pain.

To listen to these words RIGHT-click and open in new window

Lucy Love

Contd. from...

Love...
It is a state of mind like anything else.
Hatred, Anger, Desire, Enlightenment, Wastedness, etc etc etc etc...

All... just states of mind.

All unique,
but finally,
just different states of mind.

Lucy was thinking of all the people she loved. She was wondering if they had met her. If they met the OTHER her...the OT-her..
er...

Lately she was losing her focus a lot.

Focus is not the lack of distractions, but the ability to not be affected by the presence of distractions.

Lucy wondered about what the other Lucy was doing with this situation.
Was she thinking these same thoughts?
Could that be the reason for her annoying lack of focus?
Hocus

Pocus

Nofuss...

There...it happened again!

She got up and waited for the sky to lose color. Different kinds of birds began to sing as the evening approached. It was like the change of bands in a disorienting rock-concert.

She didn’t know why she thought about a rock concert suddenly, but the analogy had a chilling semblance to her hallucinatory situation.

She could hear the notes of Hendrix flowing in the air. They were coming from some radio, broadcasted from some remote station, by some random DJ, playing the Hendrix Blues CD that was copied from the master record off the MCA label sometime in the 70s...originally!

What a journey the notes have made! And to think that it does not even end (or begin) there.

The notes were first conceived in Hendrix's mind (brain?), subsequent to some complex muse making her mercurial-though regular-appearance, then running through Hendrix's body in the form of beautifully coordinated neuro-chemical signals, ultimately culminating into a muscular action that physically translated the notes in his mind, to the strings of the guitar, got swallowed up by the pick-ups, and then through acoustic-electromagnetic-acoustic transitions, went into the recording equipment, and made a permanent mark on the storage device.

Played again, the notes went through yet another complex series of energy transformations before coming out of that radio speaker, floating in the air, reaching Lucys ears, getting translated into neuro-electro-chemical information and then, via the auditory center, making a permanent mark on some cellular equivalent of a storage device in Lucys brain.

Quite simple if you think through it.

Lucy walked into Mark's Guitars.
She walked into the jamming room.
She picked up a black telecaster.
Plugged it in...
Turned it up...
Struck the strings, firmly and confidently!

C---9p7-----9p7-----9p7-----9p7-----9p7---9---10---10---10---10--- !

G-------8-------8-------8-------8-------8------7----7--7b8----7--- !

Eb---------------------------------------------------------------- !

Bb---------------------------------------------------------------- !

F----------------------------------------------------------------- !

C----------------------------------------------------------------- !

Hmm..."Not Bad", said Tom, who was standing by the door.

"Yeah, I know", said Lucy.

"How long have you been playing?" asked Tom, picking up another telecaster.

"The past 5 minutes!” replied Lucy.

"Hmm", mumbled Tom. "I’ve been playing for about 7884000 minutes!"

He started picking the strings.

Out flowed Hendrix’s Hear My Train a'comin', verbatim to Lucys debut performance. They both jammed for a while, forgetting any other universe besides the one their music enveloped them into.

That night Tom made love to Lucy again.
He then, for the first time, wrote a poem:

something is going on
something is happening
something that she lives on
something is underlying

“I have read that one before,” said Lucy.

"I think I know why!" said Tom.

"I think I know!"

Last Dance To Death

Colors enhanced in the dark,
Creatures in the mind lying still,
Bright flashes hurt the eyes,
if you want to die...you will!

No voices from deep within
Can answer you tonight.
This is the last hour,
before the final fight!

You'll lose your peace of mind,
let go your values behind,
This is the last hour,
before the final fight!

Your breath is counting hours,
to stop for a while.
In an instant of eternity,
you close your eyes with a smile!

There will be flashes from the past,
and premonitions of the future.
Your present is a dead grave,
and your life has gone obscure!

You see the tunnel vision,
And your body levitates in the wind.
You imagine the Heavens-
Taking your martyred soul within!

You have hated and you have loved,
You have sinned every sin.
You have called the almighty at times,
And worshipped the Devil within!

Now you lie in the grave,
of pious purity-
and you wonder what you've done,
to die among these loved ones!

ONE

One by one
the units come
together they become
one under the sun

Energy packets rush
to feed the union
of the united singularity
that danced under the sun

Complexity takes birth,
and simplicity is its mother,
In a way its all worth
for the units to come together

A pattern began to form
under some mystical hold
without rules or norms
The Ultimate Puzzle unfolds

First, there was matter
guided by the force,
Then there was the thought
In a quest for the cryptic source

Life begets life,
but ends into death
the dead then come alive
the cycle never quits

If you are alive
you will surely die
to tell yourself otherwise
is just a cupid lie

Why?

Because,
The ancient units
still reside
in all that ever lived
and all that has died...

Real

Contd. from...

Lucy was running. Running hard...

It is difficult at this point to say which Lucy we are talking about.
But why dont you view this as an opportunity to share my confusion?
After all, it is a confusing situation. For god'ssake, Lucy was confused!

Lucy ran for a long time. She did'nt literally run.
She was on the bus, in the car, on a plane, in a train, on a ship, in a boat, on a horse, and in a submarine! But in essence, she was running.
Running away from whatever it was that was happening.
Running from what was happening.
What was happening!!!
How can one run from what is happening?
Does it not mean that because it is happening all the time - no matter where you are - there is really no escape from the effects of that which IS happening?

Reality...

Lucy paused. She sat. She took a shot of whiskey. She smoked a cigarette. She slept for 2 days. She tried to wake up for another three.
She went to see a parapsychologist.

"Tom was his name, and reading minds was his game"

Lucy's situation did not surprise him as much as it disturbed him.

He was finally making progress in understanding his own situation, and suddenly this chic comes up to him describing experiences that threatened to confuse his own.
Tom was already confused. His obsession with parapsychology seemed to have opened the pinhole a bit more w i d e r.
Hell, it seemed to have punched a huge hOle in the door.

Reality...

That night Tom made love to Lucy.
Intimacy is a very powerful interface.
ONE cannot deny that it is unique to experience TWO = ONE.

But in this particular case the above equation carries even more depth. Because in this story, not just TWO = ONE, but also ONE + ONE = TWO = ONE = ONE + ONE.
Multiply each side with Lucy and TOM.....
Ahh...forget it. Mathematics is just a complicated way of telling a simple story.
Woah...E=MC2

In the warped up space-time scenario ("which is the plot" for those readers who are not lost yet) of this story, ONE can imagine how genetic inheritance may work.
ONE can also imagine the meaning of god. Or can contemplate about the meaning of death.
Think about thinking?
Imagine imagining?
Laugh about laughing?
Feel about feelings?
R e a l l y think about what is real?

"Damn!", thought Lucy. I gotta run!!
She sneaked out of Toms bed.

She was on the run....
running hard.
To become one.
Not someone.
Not anyone.
ONE!

Amused to see

It is amusing from here
to watch you there
staring at her
waiting
trying to go somewhere
hiding from her
hating
to have me here
watching you there

I can understand
your quagmire,
your twisty situation
I used to be in that band
of confused desires
trying to alter
that stagnant situation
waiting for her to turn


She is finally waving
at the setting ball of fire
behind the dusty horizon
while the moon has risen
over the head
to get in bed
glowing a silver light
it has commenced this night
waiting
to get in bed

Strange isnt it
the way she moves
feels like a hit
of pure ecstasy?

I wonder how she looks
when the room turns dark
when she wakes to the sun
little girl,
rising like a woman

I can see your eyes
want to see
what I see
I know you want to be
everything that is me

It makes me smile
and more amused for a while
to watch you there
trying hard to feel
a little more here
and a bit more real

Change

Strange
they call him strange
caught in the deep
they call him strange
waking through his sleep
they call him strange
deranged in sane
they call him strange

From the surface to the core
it is the same place the same door
the question is right
but the time is not
we must wait another night
to figure out what we've got

Let go deranged stranger
let go insane friend
let go those surfaces
open those closed doors
come down to these places
where rests the deep core

we will watch the waves
and stare at the skies
we will hold the moon
cover the night with our eyes
but wait....
not so soon
listen to them first
they call you strange
make up your mind
about which one is worse
and no matter what
dont go blind
coz its time
it's time to change...

Time

It is time now
to change
to get out of range
to rise above
and accept the strange

Dont be scared
to let go fear
to rise above
the now
and here

shine in the dark,
stand steady in the wind
dont lose that spark
that was so hard to find

There is no need to crawl
or feed the lords
who built these walls
and these shopping malls

Like beads of sand
come trickling down
the thoughts flow
like time;
meandering,
wandering,
waiting for a change
to get out of range
to rise above
and accept the strange

Dont fear being fearless!

Our Own

Contd. from...



We look in the mirror,
and we look at our pictures,
but we never really look at ourselves,
the way we are "looked at" by each other.

Lucy was staring at herself staring at herself. She was in two different bodies at the same time . She was living two different lives . She was experiencing two realities at once. She was also experiencing extreme confusion. Some sort of a law had been broken. In terms of physics, one may say that 2 seperate universes had merged.

Whether there were Toms staring at Toms, was a bigger problem that Lucy did not have the TIME to think about at the moment...

She also realized that she suddenly did not have SPACE.

An accident can be viewed as an event in which two objects are trying to occupy the same SPACE at the same TIME. Collision occurs in such an event, and if not controlled can lead to the complete annihilation of both the objects and everything associated with those objects.

But what when the same OBJECTS try to occupy the same SPACE at the same TIME?

The collective mind of the Lucys considered the following possible scenarios:

1. The SPACE should be equally divided into two. This means that Lucy will use half her apartment, half her grocery, half her toothpaste, half her TIME?????????

2. Some crazy explosion akin of a cosmic accident. Lucy will make physical contact with Lucy and there will be a cataclysmic disaster.

3. The Lucy on the other side of the door-by some crazy experince of accelerated enlightenment and prOfound epiphany-optimistically decides to get herself a NEW-LIFE. The other Lucy experiences the exact opposite, and goes insane...even commits suicide maybe!

4. Both the Lucys go insane...and even commit suicide maybe. Imagine watching yourself die???

Her matter and her experiences were the essence of Lucy's life; her understanding of reality. She was (whichever Lucy you wish to refer to) now abruptly subjected to an anomalous happening.

The human brain is currently having a lot of problems dealing with the present state of reality with all its distraction. Beyond these, however, the person is quiet secure in believing the mercurial concept of NORMAL.

Nevertheless, it is an accident of a unique nature and proportions, when the EXACT same OBJECT tries to occupy the same SPACE at the same TIME.

Want

Its human to want things.
To want something..
to want anything...
thats just the nature of our being

To want a certain thing
is part of being
a man...
while other desires
are a part of being
young or old
or even being
on the verge of dying
-lonely and cold

What one wants keeps changing
like everything else
and just like change is constant
so is wanting...

what you want
gives you what you get
what you want
is your best bet
you can have what you want
but not what you cant
coz you really dont want
that sort of a debt

try to sit
in the corner a bit
and watch the world
go by in a fit
heading towards equilibrium
spreading out in tandem
a balancing act of nature
nurturing its own

1984...

George Orwell thought
it was going to be
quite some year.
Considering it was 1948
he was quite right about
the future that we got
the things that we did
and those that happened to us

what with the governments
and the societies
mingling into money
and armaments
and capitalized cities
crawling with roaches
encroaching all over
poaching individuality
cashing on the lust
of diminishing identity

But it really aint wrong
to seek and to want
It really aint wrong
as long as you know
who you are
and who you'll be
who you've been
and what you want

Different

It is different now
than a while ago
It is different today
than yesterday
It is different here
than it was there

It's a different taste
than what I'd last ate
It is a different smell
Than that last hell

It is different above
than it is below
It is different to you
than it is to me
It is different to hear
than it is to see
It is different to love
than to hate
It is different to scream
than to cry
It is different to feel
than it is to die

It is different somehow
that which we dream
than what we had dreamt
a very long long time ago

It is a different year
than nine teen A T 4

Something

Contd. on...

something is going on
something is happening
something that she lives on
something is underlying

Lucy woke up...or atleast she thought she woke up.
Waking up always posed the same question,
"What exactly is real and what exactly are dreams?"

She had slipped into a slumber and made love to morpheus. Whatever that means.

She looked about and thought "something is different ....something very very different"

She got up from her desk and made herself a cup of coffee.
Lucy loved to stand in front of the window while sipping on coffee.

However, she suddenly froze. SOMTHING is very very strange...

Lucy looked incredulously at the coffee mug, and then out of the window.

"I never drink coffee!!!", she reminded herself aloud!!!

Things were getting very very strange. Everything looked familiar and new at the same time.

Lucy took another remorseful sip of the wakeful liquid. She noticed the graffiti on the mug:

something is going on
something is happening
something that she lives on
something is underlying

She looked out the window to examine the day.
There were a few city-dwelling birds singing songs of evening.
Some people were walking on the pavement.
Some others were homelessly sleeping on the street.
The clouds were sporadically sprinkled in the grey sky.

"The sun will rise any moment now", she thought.
She looked at the watch on her wrist.
Two things shocked her:
The time, and the timepiece.

The watch wasnt hers, and the time was 9:00 PM.

Suddenly she heard the door open...

With a strange and absolutely overwhelming sense of premonition, Lucy walked towards the door.

Lucy saw Lucy standing at the door.

At this point it would not be inaccurate to say that somehow there were two Lucys...identical in all respects...standing at the door, staring at each other with a look of extreme horror.

They were thinking, "something is different...something is very very different!

Things

life is an array of things...
things that money can buy,
things that go bling-bling,
and also certain things that dont die
but change forms
things that get you high
and alter decadent norms
surprising
tantalizing
mesmerizing
These little things,
these big little things,
and every other thing
hiding in between

You wake up to things
sleep on things
weep about things
eat things
drink things
think things...

there are things that hurt
things that tickle
things that make you smile
and yes... those silly little things
that you would want
to keep for a while

There are things that you doubt
that you think that you lack
sporadically lying about
deceptively arranged
in a pathetically neat stack

There are things that you kiss
those lovely singing lips
of some lost first love
things that made you hate
the things that you miss

You cannot own any thing
you cannot really take any thing
you cannot fake having something
or avoid having nothing

There are things that you desire
things on the OTHER side
things that you bury
and things that you flaunt
things that you fire
and things that make you worry
about the things that you hide

Beings clad in clothes are quiet something
strippers gyrating in motion are somehing
homeless woman lying naked is something
the emperors new clothes are something?

Ironically speaking
and thoughtlessly shrieking
those threaded clothes are nothing
but mere countenance for s o m e t h i n g

Is reality just some f@#$ing thing?

What about nothing?

Is there anything?

Atleast something

T

Cravings...

What is craving?
is it what the mother felt
when she was concocting a baby?
or is it older than that,
perhaps the ancestral monkey,
possesed by arborial cravings
for an unexplored tree?
Or is it what you felt
about sex during puberty?
Or is it what you'll always feel
till the day that you die,
about the elusive taste of money?
Is craving the need for soulful liberty?
Or is it merely an escape from poverty?

IS craving and its beauty
your cup of T?

Here...

We are here
where the light changes day
and the night comes along
in yet another way

Wherever we may roam
lifelessly unknown
seasoned with moods
of melancholic moans

Surrounded with ideas
exchanged where you're at
color the vivid screen
apparent blindness comes with that

Craving to crave?

Yes...

Yes
The opposite of no
The synonym of know?
Maybe not so....

Why yes...you may be the opposite soul?
The alternate, motion picture roll..
Exceedingly blatant and fleetingly rebelious
Climbing up the bottomless hole!

Crying so far?

I did'nt think so!
Coz I know
You like to hide
that,
which you must throw

Crying so far?

here.....

"N"

N:
It is the Ninteenth letter of the alphabet..
It is the begginning of Negativity...
No, Nein, Niet, Nasty, Nahin, Naraaz, .......
Most words (in most languages), with a somehwhat negative connotation, begin with N?

No?????

Well you say no and I say yes
you run the show and I clean the mess

Then you walk the limelit stage
And I see you through your see-through cage

You stare at me as if I am mad
but in fact its your sanity that is sad

You look like such a mess
when you say no but you wanna say yes

YES?????

Our Crammed Confidence

Crammed Confidence

It is certain that sometimes one does not feel certain
quiet often the reason is unknown and there is a mystical pain
but most likely it is in your mind
your thoughts are going blind
and you are stuck all behind
this is a crammed
situiation
like this
letter
"N"

We

We live in a world of inhibitions,
contradictions, and exhibitions
Our lives have become a show
but what really is life, we dont know

Sometimes we steal our freedom
in the solitude of night
and that one night seems so right
but the morning brings on that fight

Its a strange world we live in
to be sinful is alright, but to be right is a sin
Every man makes the society strong
but the society proves that one man wrong

We live in a world of contraptions
information and deceptions
Tangled in a confusing noodle
we slurp our way into dellusion