It seemed like some aliens were trying to make contact.
Dr Woltz had frequent headaches. He had not cared about them for a long time – continuing relentlessly to ponder over the deepest possible questions that generally have baffled humanity. He didn’t care about the throbbing pain in his forehead, the heaviness in his temples, and the pulsating sensation of flux above his ears. His brain seemed to burn with sharp pangs.
Woltz, like many great thinkers, was an obsessive thinker.
In a dimension, not accessible to any terrestrial species, there lurked an undiscovered intelligence. It is hard to define who or what these creatures were. It is also very uncertain whether these are any sort of creatures. Rather these entities qualify more as energy packets exhibiting some sort of quirky socio-cellular pattern.
Regardless of their identity - or their lack of it - the extra-dimensional entities had one burning desire. One soul-purpose: to be discovered.
For about 700 zillion years these Heedons had been multiplying s l o w l y in the known and unknown parts of the universe.
In spite of being extremely immune to extinction, the Heedons existed in a curious existential dissatisfaction because of their extremely sluggish rate of multiplication and an infinitesimally small size.
To get an idea of how small and how s l o w their journey through evolution was, the following pieces of data may prove to be eventually enlightening:
Average lifespan of a generation of Heedons = 1 zillion years.
Average size of a single colony of Heedons = approximately 6 trillion Heedons occupying space equivalent to what earth scientists refer to as a Quark.
Rate of multiplication = 1 generation per zillion years.
It is irrelevant to imagine how small a single Heedon is or how long one lasts. One can barely begin to contemplate about the rate at which new ones are born, how fast they grow, or how slowly they die!
Given that the Heedons are residents of inaccessible dimensions, it is pointless for human cognizance to be wasted over their almost invisible existence.
Ironically, human cognizance is exactly what the Heedons were in search of.
Having squandered an incredible amount of time and travelling between spatial fluctuations resulting from the ever-evolving universe, the Heedons had - bearing near-infinite patience - awaited to be discovered by some sort – as a matter of fact any sort - of intelligence that was constantly seeking something in this hastening universe.
In this hide & seek approach towards natural selection, the Heedons reckoned that if a mind could perceive them upon discovery, then they would attach themselves to the discoverer-specie's cognitive matrix and live off it in a parasitic existence devoid of their current limitations of infra-microscopic size and astonishingly sluggish rates of multiplication.
In such a manner the Heedon intellect seemed to work in terms of probabilities of occurrences rather than consistent cycles of paradigm shifts that were typical of Dr Woltz’s world. This is precisely why the near-infinite patience of Heedons is considered a crucial survival-trait for their tardy variation on organic life. Obviously, they didn't do much throughout their long and boring Heedon history but wait for a host brain.
It all seemed in vain
- until now.
The minuscule probability had arrived like a prophecy in their stagnant Heedon existence.
Somehow they had become someone else's headache.
Specifically, Dr Woltz's headache.
TO BE CONTINUED as The Aspirin Wars
